So I have to move by the end of this month. I have been looking online, calling rental realtors, calling friends, driving around and trying to find a home, with a yard, in a reasonably safe neighborhood but no luck. The minimum rent for a dump is $1100. What are the working poor supposed to do? Why should I have to give up my pets to have a home? The oil companies have rented everything in a two hundred mile radius so the poor working class, single person has no place to go.
I talk big talk, I tell my mom, I'm calm because I know God has a plan for me. I thought I believed that but as the days pass and I still have nowhere to go, my anxiety builds. I'm praying and packing in faith. The idea is to continue to pack and be prepared when I find a place. Am I living in a nightmare or am I headed for something awesome? Right now I'm scared and probably rambling but I needed to vent. It is all under control.....me not so much but I will work on it.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
thoughts in process
I have so many thoughts swirling in my mind, I cannot sort or organize them, I thought that if I started to type that perhaps all of my random thoughts would magically begin to fall into a pattern and simply begin to flow.
It just isn't happening for me right now but i have discovered that the simple act of typing has slowed the turmoil in my mind and is causing me to focus. Something that the chaos in my mind has not allowed for several days. Even my prayers are scrambled these days, and perhaps that is why I have these feelings of stress and disorganization. It is only tuesday and I feel as if i have a week's worth of weight on my shoulders.
At least for a moment I had some calm in my head~
It just isn't happening for me right now but i have discovered that the simple act of typing has slowed the turmoil in my mind and is causing me to focus. Something that the chaos in my mind has not allowed for several days. Even my prayers are scrambled these days, and perhaps that is why I have these feelings of stress and disorganization. It is only tuesday and I feel as if i have a week's worth of weight on my shoulders.
At least for a moment I had some calm in my head~
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter
This past week has been filled with so much emotion, that I am overhwelmed. While reading the gospels, I have wondered about so many aspects of this time in Christ's life. Knowing what He knew. Doing what He did. How much He must truly Love us.
As Mary watched her son, flesh of her flesh, suffer the whippings and beatings and ultimately die on that cross, was she privy to the knowledge that He was fulfilling His destiny as the Son of God? How much did she fully comprehend?
As Jesus hung on that cross, dying, in the final moments, as the earth trembled and the sky went dark in the middle of the afternoon, what thoughts went through the minds of the Jewish leaders, that only hours before had lead the cry to "crucify him!"?
What about the Roman guards? As they beat Him and crucified Him. Did his Blood splatter on them? and if so, did any of them have an instant change of heart? As they witnessed the events of the day, was there a "revelation"?
On the third day, He rose from the dead. I cannot fathom the feelings of the disciples that went to the tomb, when told that it was empty. I can imagine they might have felt fear at first, not realizing, then as the truth became clear to them, the complete and utter joy of the reality.
He is Risen!
and I am forever grateful ~
As Mary watched her son, flesh of her flesh, suffer the whippings and beatings and ultimately die on that cross, was she privy to the knowledge that He was fulfilling His destiny as the Son of God? How much did she fully comprehend?
As Jesus hung on that cross, dying, in the final moments, as the earth trembled and the sky went dark in the middle of the afternoon, what thoughts went through the minds of the Jewish leaders, that only hours before had lead the cry to "crucify him!"?
What about the Roman guards? As they beat Him and crucified Him. Did his Blood splatter on them? and if so, did any of them have an instant change of heart? As they witnessed the events of the day, was there a "revelation"?
On the third day, He rose from the dead. I cannot fathom the feelings of the disciples that went to the tomb, when told that it was empty. I can imagine they might have felt fear at first, not realizing, then as the truth became clear to them, the complete and utter joy of the reality.
He is Risen!
and I am forever grateful ~
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Thoughts of Worry
I have a beautiful daughter and I worry about her...............
I have excessive financial stress (read past due bills) and I worry about it...........
I apparently have extreme writer's block............i dwell on it.............
I am dealing with some health issues that at this moment are overwhelming and I am worried.......
I have been learning to let go
i am obviously a very slow learner
I tell myself that i will let go and suddenly the next morning I find my worries gripped tightly in my fists
thankfully, my Lord is patient with me
I have excessive financial stress (read past due bills) and I worry about it...........
I apparently have extreme writer's block............i dwell on it.............
I am dealing with some health issues that at this moment are overwhelming and I am worried.......
I have been learning to let go
i am obviously a very slow learner
I tell myself that i will let go and suddenly the next morning I find my worries gripped tightly in my fists
thankfully, my Lord is patient with me
Thursday, March 24, 2011
listening & letting go
this morning i read my devotional and the scriptures spoke to me throughout the rest of the day.
perhaps it is because i have some unfinished business to tend to.
sometimes there are things in our lives that we simply have to place in God's hands.
it's letting go. letting go of things, letting go of loved ones, letting go of our children when they are grown and old enough to make their own decicions, letting go of the things that have hurt us, letting go of the things that have crushed our Spirit, letting go of our fears, letting go of our inhibitions, letting go of the things in this world that are "of this world" which we use to define ourselves, and letting go of things that we cannot control.
tonight i am going to let go of a few things and give my Spirit an opportunity to breathe and grow and when I tell God all about my hopes and dreams and my thoughts and feelings, i know that i will have his undivided attention because i am His and He loves me.
i will spend time in His Presence, where i will find what i am seeking, because He will never change and He will never leave me. He will help me.
How do I know?
He promised.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.~ Hebrews 13:8 (NLT)
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you. ~ Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)
perhaps it is because i have some unfinished business to tend to.
sometimes there are things in our lives that we simply have to place in God's hands.
it's letting go. letting go of things, letting go of loved ones, letting go of our children when they are grown and old enough to make their own decicions, letting go of the things that have hurt us, letting go of the things that have crushed our Spirit, letting go of our fears, letting go of our inhibitions, letting go of the things in this world that are "of this world" which we use to define ourselves, and letting go of things that we cannot control.
tonight i am going to let go of a few things and give my Spirit an opportunity to breathe and grow and when I tell God all about my hopes and dreams and my thoughts and feelings, i know that i will have his undivided attention because i am His and He loves me.
i will spend time in His Presence, where i will find what i am seeking, because He will never change and He will never leave me. He will help me.
How do I know?
He promised.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.~ Hebrews 13:8 (NLT)
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you. ~ Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St. Patrick's Day
An Irish Prayer
~unknown
May God give you...
For evey storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
~unknown
May God give you...
For evey storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
thankful for my friend ~
I have a friend whom I dearly love. Somehow she always knows when I need to talk, when I need encouragement or when I need a hug.
Today was not the best of Tuesdays. Stress, daunting job, personal disappointments and finances were wearing away at my already threadbear spirit. Feeling quite overwhelmed by everything, I began to cry on my way home. Then my cell phone rang. Calling in the nick of time, my friend, Kelly.
Chipper and chatty and wanting to meet for a very late lunch. She persuaded me to meet her at one of our favorite local spots. She gave me a hug and we talked. We ordered our meal and we talked. We ate sushi and we talked. We laughed and we talked a little while longer.
Somehow my problems evaporated. Burdens were lifted from my weary shoulders, even if only for an hour or two.
It's late for me, a little past my bedtime and as I prepare to fall asleep, my spirit is still lifted and my heart a little lighter, because my dear friend has the uncanny ability to know when I need her.
I am so grateful and thankful for my dear friend, a friend that I dearly love.
Today was not the best of Tuesdays. Stress, daunting job, personal disappointments and finances were wearing away at my already threadbear spirit. Feeling quite overwhelmed by everything, I began to cry on my way home. Then my cell phone rang. Calling in the nick of time, my friend, Kelly.
Chipper and chatty and wanting to meet for a very late lunch. She persuaded me to meet her at one of our favorite local spots. She gave me a hug and we talked. We ordered our meal and we talked. We ate sushi and we talked. We laughed and we talked a little while longer.
Somehow my problems evaporated. Burdens were lifted from my weary shoulders, even if only for an hour or two.
It's late for me, a little past my bedtime and as I prepare to fall asleep, my spirit is still lifted and my heart a little lighter, because my dear friend has the uncanny ability to know when I need her.
I am so grateful and thankful for my dear friend, a friend that I dearly love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)